A place for stories about chronic illness, disability, mental health, and neurodivergence.

When I Was A Monster

By

I saw all the lights in my dreams
But nobody dared to approach me
Because I didn’t know how
To use my words
They left me alone and
When I knew how to use
Some words they
Left me even more alone
A way with words
Is a way into a heart
And I didn’t have the words
And I never found the heart
I never found the way
The hand I was holding
Was next to my own
As I clasped my palms
Around the icicles
Emerging from their mouths
And tried to warm them
Or at least make sense
Of their weight and size
I tried to develop an appreciation
For icicles large and small
Smooth and rough
Which varied depending
On the time of day
Or the shape of the mouth
Of their origin
It was not only until months later
That a lady brought me
A mug of hot chocolate
And then another lady
Brought a lit lightbulb
Taking my hands aback
With their unrelenting heat
And forcing them to realise
How cold they really were
While my eyes
Watered from the shock
Of Unsolicited Warmth

Contributor

  • Brian Lee is an aspiring writer and poet from Singapore, who scribbles when he should be having lunch. His writing is informed by questions of nature, the human mind, and neurodiversity.