when your todo list starts with “enter a synaesthetic flow
state” and ends with “send that email you’ve been putting off”
you start to wonder if undulating waves of desire & successful
freelancing may be directly opposed if it’s even possible to
feel all desire as one
overwhelming flood while still noticing anything—
when your friends start to ask when generative disorder
becomes less than generative, you start to wonder what
you’re actually generating versus simply
releasing into—watching the flames of your belonging
spark against the borders of the practical—wondering if
what’s beautiful will stay that way after you realize that
homework needs doing & texts need coherent answers &
unmemorized lines of tragedy won’t deal with themselves is
it a trance or simply a procrastination tactic? is
morphological freedom for people with too much
unused time, or simply for the illegible?