What can I appreciate in this
moment?
The days, minutes,
seconds
when I don’t taste
my own stomach
in the back
of my throat,
bile biting
with its sinister
sheen of sickness.
When I can
SLEEP,
Glory Hallelujah Sweet
Jesus.
Six hours
without waking up
so I don’t choke on
my own vomit
or shit the bed.
When my mind isn’t
spinning faster than my fingers can type
into the search bar:
What’s wrong with me
What’s wrong with me
Please help me
I’m dying.
The days when all I
see is beauty
and all I hear
is silence
and all I want
is nothing,
those are the days
I take it back,
apologize to God,
saying –
Just kidding –
I do want to be here
after all.
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