INTRUDERS – Knee Brace Press

they shout in my yard 
at five a.m.     when all I need 
is one night’s rest. 

there they are, 
violent images,     running wild, 
tearing out the flowerbeds 
to make room 
for their unhinged plans. 

unbeknownst to me, though, 
when they'll arrive, 
or when they'll leave. 

I watch them weed out 
my budding blooms; 
I wait 
until they're stuffed 
with pleasure and 
relief 
before scaring them away 
with fertilized guilt. 

••• 

that afternoon,     at the botánica, 
I scout the most 
eager sprouts 
swimming in mulch 
and determination. 

I grab my tools, 
put on my gloves,     and 
fill my vandalized garden 
once again. 

the heathens will be back 
soon to pick at my peace.
but before I start     on dinner, 

I water the pansies, 
close the curtains, 
and take a quiet nap.

Contributor

myles kuatepet

The pieces “INTRUDERS” and “NEW SCHOOL YEAR” reflect my experiences with OCD. In “INTRUDERS,” I confront disturbing intrusive thoughts and the cycle inherent in Exposure and Response Therapy. In “NEW SCHOOL YEAR,” I explore the manifestations of my ‘Just Right’ OCD during childhood, recognizing now as an adult that it was more than just childish games; it was a compulsive need for balance. Finally, in “LIABILITY,” I describe my intake session with my therapist, with whom I navigate living with C-PTSD. While I am not afraid to discuss my trauma, I am simply tired of being in pain. Still, I persevere.