A place for stories about chronic illness, disability, mental health, and neurodivergence.

All I Have to Live For

By

Hung up with my little brother
Grinning through the frame of a frown
Between a wall and a walled-up wish
Wilting like daffodils in October.

If I felt all I have to live for
At every waking moment,
The warmth of a specific smile
From a for-granted fragrance,

Well, there wouldn’t be hollow hours,
Miserable minutes staring at the clock
Wishing it only had two hands
So I can get to the end as fast as possible.

Perhaps I could put it on my mental dashboard
Like a bobblehead Jesus,
An omnipresent reminder
Of alleged divine protection.

Although I’d be bound to blink at some point
And be re-seduced by the darkness
Simply because the light
Seems too good to be true.

Contributor

  • Sam Hendrian is a Los Angeles-based filmmaker and poet striving to foster empathy through art. Every Sunday, he writes personalized poems for passersby outside of Chevalier’s Books, LA’s oldest independent bookstore. You can find his poetry and film links on Instagram at @samhendrian143.