Handing in the doctor’s prescription
Scrawled commitment
chronic forever
a new medication
to add to the mix
Slick brand names and long generic monikers
insurance input
Calculating DIN numbers
searching interactions
Strategizing
time of day
anticipating side effects
Noting what to notice
reactions that might look like symptoms
Long term risks
impact on fertility
Who to call
When to stop
Persistently adding more pills
More
Questions
White childproof caps on orange plastic containers
One in the AM without food
Four in the AM with food
B12 supplement under the tongue
Can I take this new one at the same time?
With or without food?
Fifteen milligrams in the AM
Four more in the PM
Food will help with nausea
Magnesium
Fish Oil
Probiotic
Vitamin D
Am I missing anything?
Sometimes I eat a spoonful of peanut butter
at bedtime
Like hiding pills for a dog
Sometimes I miscalculate food timing
pills hitting my empty stomach
make me vomit
Heaving pill-swallowing water
Wondering what chemicals had time to dissolve
absorption between swallow and expulsion
potential impact on tomorrow
I plink pills
and vitamins
and supplements
into days of the week container segments
Clicking each section closed
placing it on the nightstand
next to “As Needed” anti-inflammatories
Leave those bottles open
in case my hands are too swollen and sore
to grip and twist
The first time he saw my handful of pills at bedtime
his eyebrows went up
“Seriously!?”
Dead serious.
Are you in awe of this body sustained by science?
This expensive mix of organs and systems
and chemical reactions?
Surely my bodily cost makes me a luxury item
Last year one treatment alone cost $80 000
to say nothing of my monthly medication
Rent on my body
A chronic investment
Pressed pills and convex capsules
etched letters and numbers
side effects and risks
combining longterm illness
relief and hope
in my solo clinical trial
My science experiment self
