Biding time for the next encounter
I keep a chair at the table for Pain
It swaggers in sharply dressed
Snags the chair. Glides into view
Faceless entity piercing my visage
Let the eternal negotiations begin
Asking for respite in my sleep, ability to walk & think
Pain wagers intermittent pains at their whim
I sigh. Of course you do. Like a toddler you plead for more
I gently ask for meeting me halfway
Parenting Pain is almost a full time job
Constant pulling at my hem begging for attention
A push and pull of wants on both sides
Teeter totter of me vs you. My body the physical pendulum
Years of tedious fighting with Pain
I now tread the boundaries between
An ether of space where I find a breath, a moment of ease
Balancing this tango I never wanted
One, two, three, step. Dip. Slide.
Not letting Pain hold too tight. It not letting go
The Dance is now routine for us
We are no longer fierce opponents
We’re neighbours sharing a yard within
I cut the grass. Their’s endless creeping weeds
My seven year itch fast approaching
For now, I take the hand of Pain to the floor
There’s no winning. Only living
Pain my unexpected internal partner
